Demetri Martin

American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

Demetri Martin is a versatile American entertainer known for his deadpan comedy, musical routines, and satirical cartoons. He was a contributor on The Daily Show and has also voiced the character of Ice Bear in the Cartoon Network series, We Bare Bears.

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About the Demetri Martin

Demetri Martinis an American comedian, actor, writer, director, cartoonist and musician. He was a contributor on The Daily Show. In stand-up, he is known for his deadpan delivery, playing his guitar for jokes, and his satirical cartoons. He starred as Ice Bear in Cartoon Network’s We Bare Bears.

Frequently Asked Questions

Demetri Martin is an American comedian, actor, writer, director, cartoonist, and musician. He is known for his deadpan delivery, playing guitar for jokes, and creating satirical cartoons.

Demetri Martin was born on May 25, 1973, and his full name is Dimitrios Evangelos Martin. He is of Greek descent.

Demetri Martin was a contributor on The Daily Show, and he has also voiced the character of Ice Bear in the Cartoon Network series, We Bare Bears.

Demetri Martin is known for his deadpan delivery and using his guitar to tell jokes. He also creates satirical cartoons as part of his comedic repertoire.

In addition to his work as a comedian, Demetri Martin is also an actor, writer, director, and musician, showcasing his versatility as an entertainer.

19 Quotes by Demetri Martin

  1. 1.

    I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that’s to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn’t know if someone was stuttering. ‘Yes, hello I’d like some b-batteries.’ ‘What kind?’ ‘B-batteries.’ ‘What kind?’ ‘B-batteries!’ and D-batteries that’s hard for foreigners. ‘Yes, I would like de batteries.’

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  2. 2.

    Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  3. 3.

    I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  4. 4.

    Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I’m swimming, sometimes I’m not sure which one it is.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  5. 5.

    A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he’s persuasive.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  6. 6.

    I love women, but I feel like you can’t trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog’s name. Then I said, ‘Does he bite?’ She said, ‘No.’ And I said, ‘Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?’ Liar.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  7. 7.

    The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  8. 8.

    The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  9. 9.

    I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said ‘Happy Birthday’ on it. I didn’t want to waste it so I just wrote ‘Jesus’ on it.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  10. 10.

    If you can’t tell a spoon from a ladle, then you’re fat!

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  11. 11.

    My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  12. 12.

    People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they’re very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they’re kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  13. 13.

    I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like, ‘huh? What the hell is this?’ But if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like, ‘this is nice!’

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  14. 14.

    If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I’d probably just start calling out letters.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  15. 15.

    Whenever I’m on my computer, I don’t type ‘lol’. I type ‘lqtm’ – laugh quietly to myself. It’s more honest.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  16. 16.

    Saying, ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying, ‘ I apologize.’ Except at a funeral.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  17. 17.

    I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I’m not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  18. 18.

    A lot of people like lollipops. I don’t like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don’t need a handle. Just give me the candy.

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist

  19. 19.

    I think it’s interesting that ‘cologne’ rhymes with ‘alone.’

    Demetri Martin

    American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist