Leo Rosten

Why did God give me two ears and one mouth? So that I will hear more and talk less.

Courage is the capacity to confront what can be imagined.

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can’t help it.

Words must surely be counted among the most powerful drugs man ever invented.

Satire is focused bitterness.

The writer wants to be understood much more than he wants to be respected or praised or even loved. And that perhaps, is what makes him different from others.

If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it.

Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable.

Truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

Some things are so unexpected that no one is prepared for them.

First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people.

Extremists think “communication” means agreeing with them.

I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe.

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.

I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.

We see things as we are, not as they are.

Proverbs often contradict one another, as any reader soon discovers. The sagacity that advises us to look before we leap promptly warns us that if we hesitate we are lost; that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but out of sight, out of mind.

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they’re dead.

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church.

A writer writes not because he is educated but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood.