Yakov Smirnoff

In today’s society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

The ad in the paper said ‘Big Sale. Last Week.’ Why advertise? I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in.

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

Never having alone time is real tough on people.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing – like showering.

It’s kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

We have a choice – we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts.

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we’ve heard in fairy tales.

My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.

I fed my ego, but not my soul.