Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent.

Life is like an analogy.

When all else fails, complicate matters.

I’m content to stand on tradition. I’m even more content to wipe my feet on it.

The principle of Sturgeon’s Razor states that the simplest answer to any problem is 90% crap.

Violence is the first refuge of the violent.

Any sufficiently badly-written science is indistinguishable from magic.

Feminism is sort of like God. Many people profess to believe in it, but no one seems to be able to define it to everyone’s satisfaction.

If you hack the Vatican server, have you tampered in God’s domain?

There are two types of people in the world, and I’m one of them.

Definition of ‘Free’: You pay for it whether or not you elect to receive it.

The way to a man’s heart is through his chest.

Where can I get some tat? I’d like to trade it in.

I really can’t complain about actresses who get paid to be dumb. Most of us can’t get paid to be smart.

This would not be a problem if I were driving a snowplow.

The difference between tragedy and comedy: Tragedy is something awful happening to somebody else, while comedy is something awful happening to somebody else.

No one pays me to be nice.

Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent.

Luck consists largely of hanging on by your fingernails until things start to go your way.

The analysis of the thing is not the thing itself.