Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you’ve got to help pay for piping. And the Piper!

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d all be millionaires.

It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from “Dear Abby” instead of going to Mom and Dad.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

If you want a place in the sun, you’ve got to put up with a few blisters.

The less you talk, the more you’re listened to.

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who walk into a room and say, “There you are” and those who say, “Here I am”

Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.

Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you’re prepared to lose.

Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you’ve got to help pay for piping. And the Piper!

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.