I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern.

Meaning of the quote

This quote suggests that the speaker had a difficult relationship with their father. Even though they no longer loved him, they still felt trapped in a certain way of behaving or thinking that was influenced by their father. The speaker is saying that even when the emotional connection is gone, the patterns or habits we develop from our family can still control us, like a form of slavery.

About Anais Nin

Angela Anais Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell was a French-born American diarist, essayist, novelist, and writer of short stories and erotica. Born to Cuban parents in France, Nin was the daughter of the composer Joaquin Nin and the classically trained singer Rosa Culmell.

More about the author

More quotes from Anais Nin

The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

A leaf fluttered in through the window this morning, as if supported by the rays of the sun, a bird settled on the fire escape, joy in the task of coffee, joy accompanied me as I walked.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

If all of us acted in unison as I act individually there would be no wars and no poverty. I have made myself personally responsible for the fate of every human being who has come my way.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Dreams are necessary to life.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Do not seek the because – in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Good things happen to those who hustle.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

What I cannot love, I overlook. Is that real friendship?

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish it’s source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

People living deeply have no fear of death.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as man who created a child and then, by his absence, left the child fatherless and then Godless.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Truth is something which can’t be told in a few words. Those who simplify the universe only reduce the expansion of its meaning.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

It’s all right for a woman to be, above all, human. I am a woman first of all.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

When you make a world tolerable for yourself, you make a world tolerable for others.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action. They must be woven together.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica

I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern.

Anais Nin

writer of novels, short stories, and erotica