I have always found women difficult. I don’t really understand them. To begin with, few women tell the truth.

A woman should say: “Have I made him happy? Is he satisfied? Does he love me more than he loved me before? Is he likely to go to bed with another woman?” If he does, then it’s the wife’s fault because she is not trying to make him happy.

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter.

I have always found women difficult. I don’t really understand them. To begin with, few women tell the truth.

France is the only place where you can make love in the afternoon without people hammering on your door.

A woman asking “Am I good? Am I satisfied?” is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be.

A historical romance is the only kind of book where chastity really counts.

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

I’ll keep going till my face falls off.

To sleep around is absolutely wrong for a woman; it’s degrading and it completely ruins her personality. Sooner or later it will destroy all that is feminine and beautiful and idealistic in her.

As long as the plots keep arriving from outer space, I’ll go on with my virgins.