Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people and the world.

It’s a great country, where anybody can grow up to be president… except me.

You don’t need to be straight to fight and die for your country. You just need to shoot straight.

American business has just forgotten the importance of selling.

Where is the politician who has not promised to fight to the death for lower taxes- and who has not proceeded to vote for the very spending projects that make tax cuts impossible?

If you don’t mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.

I won’t say that the papers misquote me, but I sometimes wonder where Christianity would be today if some of those reporters had been Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

The only summit meeting that can succeed is the one that does not take place.

I wouldn’t trust Nixon from here to that phone.

I will offer a choice, not an echo.

When I’m not a politician, I’ll be dead.

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, fine.

I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable.

Equality, rightly understood as our founding fathers understood it, leads to liberty and to the emancipation of creative differences; wrongly understood, as it has been so tragically in our time, it leads first to conformity and then to despotism.

The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.

If everybody in this town connected with politics had to leave town because of chasing women and drinking, you would have no government.

You’ve got to forget about this civilian. Whenever you drop bombs, you’re going to hit civilians.

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

You don’t have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.

I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

I could have ended the war in a month. I could have made North Vietnam look like a mud puddle.