I never know how much of what I say is true.

Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.

I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.

When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.

Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it’s like a jackhammer.

Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn’t want to – or can’t – join the Big Parade.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

If I could be granted a wish, I’d shine in your eye like a jewel.

I always try to balance the light with the heavy – a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.

I never know how much of what I say is true.

I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It’s helped me a lot.

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I wouldn’t say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.

I’m working my way toward divinity.

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.

I’d make a wonderful Lady Macbeth. I’ll wear a pair of platform shoes or something.

I feel like a million tonight – but one at a time.