The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

Sure, women sportswriters look when they’re in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?

Baseball hasn’t forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven’t lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don’t even get printed.

Let’s face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can’t resist.

I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team’s dugout and they were already in street clothes.

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.