I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn’t make it worse.

About Brendan Behan

Brendan Francis Aidan Behanwas an Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, playwright, and Irish Republican, an activist who wrote in both English and Irish. His widely acknowledged alcohol dependence, despite attempts to treat it, impacted his creative capacities and contributed to health and social problems which curtailed his artistic output and finally his life.

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More quotes from Brendan Behan

I say myself no depressed words just depressed minds.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

I am a drinker with writing problems.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn’t make it worse.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

It’s not that the Irish are cynical. It’s rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

I am a daylight atheist.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

I wish I’d been a mixed infant.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment… a place where you’re least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

Brendan Behan

Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright (1923-1964)