You can only hold your stomach in for so many years.

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.

Jay Leno is wonderful and a good friend, but it will always be the Carson show to a lot of people.

I’ve always gotten along well with Texans. You’ve got to.

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.

I can sing as well as Fred Astaire can act.

You can only hold your stomach in for so many years.

The moment you grab someone by the lapels, you’re lost.