Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There’s so little hope for advancement.

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

No problem is too big to run away from.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’

There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.

A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope.

It doesn’t matter what you believe just so long as you’re sincere.

That’s the secret to life… replace one worry with another.

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.

I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.

Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.

Try not to have a good time… this is supposed to be educational.

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

No problem is so formidable that you can’t walk away from it.

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.

There’s a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

Aunt Marion was right… Never marry a musician, and never answer the door.

I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.

The way I see it, it doesn’t matter what you believe just so you’re sincere.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.