The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news, and he wanted to be the one to report it.

I think my passion is misinterpreted as anger sometimes. And I don’t think people are ready for the message that I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of violent love.

I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time – and this includes naps – I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.

As kids we’re not taught how to deal with success; we’re taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?

I try to be known more for my work than for anything else.

Dad almost died of a heart attack in the middle of making Apocalypse Now, the biggest movie of his life. It doesn’t make you want to jump into that business.

I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying’s for fools, dying’s for amateurs.

I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it’ well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?

You have the right to kill me, but you don’t have the right to judge me. That’s life. There’s nobility in that. There’s focus. It’s genuine. It’s crystal and it’s pure and it’s available to everybody, so just shut your traps and put down your McDonalds, your vaccines, your Us Weekly, your TMZ and the rest of it.

Usually in a battle sequence when a bomb is going off, you forget you’re acting.

I’ve got mad energy for days. That’s what people can’t get their minds around. They say, ‘Oh, he’s going to crash.’ They try to apply all these common terms to a guy who is not common. I don’t fit into their little box.

I have one speed, I have one gear: go!

What is a normal childhood? We weren’t rich, we were pretty middle-class. My dad survived from job to job; with him taking care of so many relatives, he couldn’t save any money.

Uncertainty is a sign of humility, and humility is just the ability or the willingness to learn.

It’s not an act. I love it. It’s totally original. People go, ‘What’s going on with this guy? Why does he sound so weird? What is going on in his brain. I don’t know. Just one day I suddenly woke up with a new brain.

Here’s the good news. If I realize that I’m insane, then I’m okay with it. I’m not dangerous insane.

When friends asked me, Can we help? I’d say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars.

I just don’t want to live like I used to. And at some point, I’m going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I’ve got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future.

I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.

I’ve spent, I think, close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.

I’m bi-winning. I win here, I win there.

Dad kept us out of school, but school comes and goes. Family is forever.

Slash sat me down at his house and said, You’ve got to clean up your act. You know you’ve gone too far when Slash is saying, Look, you’ve got to get into rehab.

That we are to stand by the President right or wrong is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.

There have to be more important things going on in the world than my past.

You either love or you hate. You live in the middle, you get nothing.

We’re going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I’m going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it, it’s worth a fortune. I’ll make this a work of magic warlock art.

I’m dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don’t have time for these clowns.

Sure, I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the core, the foundation of what I pursued, what red-blooded young American male in my position wouldn’t?

Duh! So, we’re asking you now, what are some of your favorite lines that this warlock brain produced?

What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.

But you can’t focus on things that matter if all you’ve been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.

I still don’t have all the answers. I’m more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.

Fame is empowering. My mistake was that I thought I would instinctively know how to handle it. But there’s no manual, no training course.

What you come to discover is, it isn’t how you get there, it’s that you get there. If that’s what it took to get me where I’m at today, so be it.

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies.

For now, I’m just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.

I’m here and I’m ready. They’re not. Bring it.

Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them.

You can’t process me with a normal brain.

I’m tired of ignoring that I march to a different beat.

There was a reason my first substantial role after rehab was to play a maniac whose personal story ended badly. I knew what it was like to go those dark places. I played a guy who died as a result of his abuse.

The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news, and he wanted to be the one to report it.

I think I have a duty as a recovering guy to help, to make my knowledge of what I went through accessible.

I so desperately wanted to be Mr. Somebody. Instead, I was the little brother, included to a point.

Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.

I tried marriage. I’m 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer – I believe in numbers. I’m not going 0 for 4. I’m not wearing a golden sombrero.

I saw 28 Days. I don’t remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It’s a big landfill.

I’ve got volumes on how not to behave. I’ve got more information now than a guy should have at my age.

I just didn’t believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.

People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I’m gonna hang onto them and they’re gonna fuel my attack.

I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn’t earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast.

I don’t have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.

From my big beautiful warlock brain, welcome to ‘Sheen’s Korner’ … You’re either in my corner, or you’re with the trolls.

I’m 0 for 3 with marriage – the scoreboard doesn’t lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.

The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.

The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.

I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.

I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man.