You know, I do speak the Queens English. It’s just the wrong Queens that’s all. It’s over the 59th Street Bridge. It’s not over the Atlantic Ocean.

God has more important things to worry about than who I sleep with.

Sometimes my mind boggles. It’s so deep my mind actually boggles.

I’ve got a Grammy and Emmy, I’d like to have a Tony.

Humour is a great vehicle for getting a message across. If you get too serious, you could die of starch.

Somebody did complain to me and tell me that my clothes were so loud they couldn’t hear me sing.

When I got hoarse, the manager would say, ‘Drink this. Joplin used to drink this,’ and I used to say, ‘Joplin? Joplin’s dead.

What, do you think that feminism means you hate men?

I’m in the business where you get the business all the time.

You know, I do speak the Queens English. It’s just the wrong Queens that’s all. It’s over the 59th Street Bridge. It’s not over the Atlantic Ocean.

As the audiences got larger, the participation got larger. And I found myself in Dallas, and 20,000 people were singing ‘Madonna Whore’ back at me. I thought… this is really a great thing. They wanted to hear it really badly, and here they are.

I get the greatest feeling when I’m singing. It’s other-worldly. Your feet are anchored into the Earth and into this energy force that comes up through your feet and goes up the top of your head and maybe you’re holding hands with the angels or the stars, I have no idea.

When I sing I don’t feel like it’s me. I feel I am fabulous, like I’m 10 feet tall. I am the greatest. I am the strongest. I am Samson. I’m whoever I want to be.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like if somebody from outer space landed with three heads. Then all of a sudden everybody else wouldn’t look so bad, huh? Well, OK you’re a little different from me but, hey, ya got one head.