I’m always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it’s so different from standup.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

I don’t laugh out loud at comics a lot.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

I’m a late-night guy.

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people – how they act and such.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don’t think I’m funny.

I’ve lived in LA for so long, I don’t even know what is real and what isn’t any more.

Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He’ll come to a lot of my shows. It’s not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.

I’m shooting a pilot based on my show. It’s a one-camera show. I play myself.

I don’t write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

I’m quitting the business today. I’m going to open up an appliance store, I’ve always really been into toasters. I’m giving it all up.

When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

I get so into the moment.

I’m always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!