Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.

Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it’s painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it’s extremely painful.

The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show… Cops would come by – often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.

Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

I don’t think anyone ever gets over the surprise of how differently one audience’s reaction is from another.

I think I’d be pretty easy to write for.

Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.

I’m not sure why writing for others became harder. Probably a reluctance to give away anything you might conceivably use yourself caused a block. I did it, but it remained hard when it had once been easy.

To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.

If your parents never had children, chances are… neither will you.