I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.

My weaknesses have always been food and men – in that order.

You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

I was the first woman to burn my bra – it took the fire department four days to put it out.

I hated school. Even to this day, when I see a school bus it’s just depressing to me. The poor little kids.

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don’t they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It’s obvious I’ve got big ones and if people want to assume they’re not mine, then let them.

If you talk bad about country music, it’s like saying bad things about my momma. Them’s fightin’ words.

It’s a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I’d be a drag queen.

I’m old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I’d tell them where to put it.

When I’m inspired, I get excited because I can’t wait to see what I’ll come up with next.

Storms make trees take deeper roots.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

I still close my eyes and go home – I can always draw from that.

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out.

If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

I look just like the girls next door… if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.

I modelled my looks on the town tramp.

Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills.

I’m not going to limit myself just because people won’t accept the fact that I can do something else.