The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.

Don’t abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.

None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.

The little trouble in the world that is not due to love is due to friendship.

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.

When a man is trying to sell you something, don’t imagine that he is polite all the time.

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

Fishing seems to be the favorite form of loafing.

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

To be an ideal guest, stay at home.

The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.

Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.

The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in.

Everyone suffers wrongs for which there is no remedy.

One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.

If your faith is opposed to experience, to human learning and investigation, it is not worth the breath used in giving it expression.

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.

There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night’s sleep.

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.

A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country.

The average man’s judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

If a woman doesn’t chase a man a little, she doesn’t love him.

Every successful person I have heard of has done the best he could with the conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.

A boy doesn’t have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn’t like pie when he sees there isn’t enough to go around.

When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.

Farmers only worry during the growing season, but townspeople worry all the time.

A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him.

Virtue must be valuable, if men and women of all degrees pretend to have it.

It may be a cold, clammy thing to say, but those that treat friendship the same as any other selfishness seem to get the most out of it.

A woman who can’t forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.

Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.

The most destructive criticism is indifference.

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

All of the troubles that some people have in life is that which they married into.

The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can’t get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.

Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.

The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.