I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
About Elayne Boosler
Elayne Boosleris an American comedian, writer, and actress.
She was one of the few women working in stand-up comedy in the 1970s and 80s, and she broke ground by adopting an observational style that included frank discussions about her life as a single woman, as well as political commentary.
More quotes from Elayne Boosler
To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
American comedian
I’m just a person trapped inside a woman’s body.
American comedian
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
American comedian
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn’t have that rule when Jesus was born.
American comedian
I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me.
American comedian
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
American comedian
Wouldn’t it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
American comedian
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.
American comedian
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
American comedian
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
American comedian
When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
American comedian