Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’
Meaning of the quote
Immature love means you love someone because you need them, like you need air or food. Mature love means you need someone because you truly love them, not just because you need them. Mature love is stronger and lasts longer than immature love.
About Erich Fromm
Erich Fromm was a renowned German-American social psychologist, psychoanalyst, and philosopher. He fled the Nazi regime and settled in the United States, where he co-founded a prestigious institute and was associated with the influential Frankfurt School of critical theory.
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More quotes from Erich Fromm
Just as modern mass production requires the standardization of commodities, so the social process requires standardization of man, and this standardization is called equality.
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The only truly affluent are those who do not want more than they have.
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Authority is not a quality one person “has,” in the sense that he has property or physical qualities. Authority refers to an interpersonal relation in which one person looks upon another as somebody superior to him.
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Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.
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Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people who get the most of what they can expect, considering their value on the personality market.
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Most people die before they are fully born. Creativeness means to be born before one dies.
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Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
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There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started out with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet which fails so regularly, as love.
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Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.
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The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal.
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Why should society feel responsible only for the education of children, and not for the education of all adults of every age?
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Man always dies before he is fully born.
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To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime.
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In the nineteenth century the problem was that God is dead. In the twentieth century the problem is that man is dead.
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The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.
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If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism.
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To die is poignantly bitter, but the idea of having to die without having lived is unbearable.
German sociologist and psychoanalyst
If I am what I have and if I lose what I have who then am I?
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Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.
German sociologist and psychoanalyst
There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail.
German sociologist and psychoanalyst
There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy or to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
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Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.
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In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
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Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
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What most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal.
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The most beautiful as well as the most ugly inclinations of man are not part of a fixed biologically given human nature, but result from the social process which creates man.
German sociologist and psychoanalyst
One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often.
German sociologist and psychoanalyst
Selfish persons are incapable of loving others, but they are not capable of loving themselves either.
German sociologist and psychoanalyst
Both dreams and myths are important communications from ourselves to ourselves. If we do not understand the language in which they are written, we miss a great deal of what we know and tell ourselves in those hours when we are not busy manipulating the outside world.
German sociologist and psychoanalyst
Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one’s own self.
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We live in a world of things, and our only connection with them is that we know how to manipulate or to consume them.
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We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.
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The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.
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Sanity is only that which is within the frame of reference of conventional thought.
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The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.
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There is only one meaning of life: the act of living itself.
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Just as love is an orientation which refers to all objects and is incompatible with the restriction to one object, so is reason a human faculty which must embrace the whole of the world with which man is confronted.
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The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that man may become robots.
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Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much.
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Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve.
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The capacity to be puzzled is the premise of all creation, be it in art or in science.
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The psychic task which a person can and must set for himself is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.
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The ordinary man with extraordinary power is the chief danger for mankind – not the fiend or the sadist.
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