Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor’s noisy party than being there.

The British have a remarkable talent for keeping calm, even when there is no crisis.

What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don’t want to discourage it completely.

You never realize what a good memory you have until you try to forget something.

The most efficient labor-saving device is still money.

Anybody who finds it easy to make money on the horses is probably in the dog food business.

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.

All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband some day.

Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.

When you get something for nothing, you just haven’t been billed for it yet.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enable you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they’re going to catch you in next.

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they’re loaded or not.

Love doesn’t make the word go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

It’s the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon; which raises the fear that it may not be long before we’re paying somebody not to.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Sex is a two-way treat.

Nothing makes it easier to resist temptation than a proper bringing-up, a sound set of values – and witnesses.

Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor’s noisy party than being there.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

Originality is the art of concealing your source.

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

One trouble with developing speed reading skills is that by the time you realize a book is boring you’ve already finished it.

It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.

The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.

You’re an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.