Ask me not what I have, but what I am.

Atheism is the last word of theism.

Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ.

Communism possesses a language which every people can understand – its elements are hunger, envy, and death.

Every man, either to his terror or consolation, has some sense of religion.

Experience is a good school. But the fees are high.

God will forgive me. It’s his job.

God will forgive me; that’s his business.

Great genius takes shape by contact with another great genius, but, less by assimilation than by fiction.

He only profits from praise who values criticism.

Human misery is too great for men to do without faith.

I do not know if she was virtuous, but she was ugly, and with a woman that is half the battle.

I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom.

I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses.

I will not say that women have no character; rather, they have a new one every day.

If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world.

In earlier religions the spirit of the time was expressed through the individual and confirmed by miracles. In modern religions the spirit is expressed through the many and confirmed by reason.

In these times we fight for ideas and newspapers are our fortress.

It is a common phenomenon that just the prettiest girls find it so difficult to get a man.

It is extremely difficult for a Jew to be converted, for how can he bring himself to believe in the divinity of – another Jew?

Like a great poet, Nature knows how to produce the greatest effects with the most limited means.

Matrimony; the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented.

Music played at weddings always reminds me of the music played for soldiers before they go into battle.

Of course God will forgive me; that’s His job.

Oh, what lies there are in kisses.

Sleep is good, death is better; but of course, the best thing would to have never been born at all.

Sleep is lovely, death is better still, not to have been born is of course the miracle.

Talking and eloquence are not the same: to speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.

The Bible is the great family chronicle of the Jews.

The fundamental evil of the world arose from the fact that the good Lord has not created money enough.

The men of action are, after all, only the unconscious instruments of the men of thought.

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle.

There are more fools in the world than there are people.

True eloquence consists in saying all that is necessary, and nothing but what is necessary.

Whatever tears one may shed, in the end one always blows one’s nose.

When the heroes go off the stage, the clowns come on.

When words leave off, music begins.

Whenever books are burned, men also in the end are burned.

Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings.

Whether a revolution succeeds or fails people of great hearts will always be sacrificed to it.

Woman is at once apple and serpent.

You cannot feed the hungry on statistics.