Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you.

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.

I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.

Every man is a potential genius until he does something.

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you.

People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty.

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don’t mind.