Unfortunately, since the Sept. 11 tragedy, our business is not doing too well.

One girl was helped from my appearance on the show, and I swore I would not keep quiet again. When you talk about things that are embarrassing or devastating, obviously you can help people when you do.

I really like to communicate to my fans. I have a fan club president who I’ve had for over 15 years.

I had just won the lawsuit against Melrose Place.

CBS started to confiscate our packages and mail as a safety procedure. A lot of packages that people send for the holidays and to our kids we can’t open. A lot of times they are from overseas. It’s very upsetting at times.

There was a storyline this year where Taylor lied to Brooke. It was supposed to be set up in a way that I was so outraged by her that I let it stay. I thought that was human, which was great.

So, not only am I panicking over the weekend if I need to know my lines, but also if can I get the kids to the zoo. Can I even go to church? I was asking for certain things that would allow me to plan my life a little better.

Unfortunately, since the Sept. 11 tragedy, our business is not doing too well.

I was moaning and grieving as if I lost one of my own children. It was probably one of the most real feelings I ever had on the show. I was just sitting there wailing with no lines. I was beat after that storyline.

The main concern was making sure the kids didn’t get caught in the middle.

My children are the focal point of my life. I was asking for a little more time to spend with them.

We cannot really communicate with our fans.

We share responsibility. It’s important to have a good spouse; that’s where I sympathize with single parents.

If I was a bad character that got away with murder like we see on other shows, I do not think I would like it because that sends a message that you can do these horrible things and never pay for it.

The only problem with the way they do my character is that they have her get redeemed too early.

There is really a whole new appreciation when you leave and then come back.

I have a really great relationship with God. I pray. I read the Bible.

In September, I left the show. We were going through discussions and negotiations, and I had been on the show for about 11 years, and there were some things that I was asking for that I didn’t feel were the moon or the stars.

I kind of thought the writers were starting to take Taylor and make her kind of down and dirty.

It was scary, and I knew what it was like to be an unemployed actress again.

We were led to a pediatric ophthalmologist. It’s a hard date for me, April 14, 1998. The doctor came back from the examining room and told us she had tumors in both eyes.

The house seemed so empty without him. And I thought about the life we’d been building together for all that time. I realized I was on the brink of losing it all. It just scared me into reality.

I told him that I can play it if he wanted to write it, and I would be willing to try and go there emotionally. I did not know as an actress if I would be able to get there, because when you feel really deep emotions or pain, you don’t want to go back there.