When he said we were trying to make a fool of him, I could only murmur that the Creator had beat us to it.

America’s best buy is a telephone call to the right man.

Wart hogs should sue for libel. It is a terrible name and they are fine fellows and devoted family men and it is rare to see one by himself; the little woman and the kiddies are usually close at hand.

It is usually when men are at their most religious that they behave with the least sense and the greatest cruelty.

The only people who never fail are those who never try.

When he said we were trying to make a fool of him, I could only murmur that the Creator had beat us to it.

You can always spot a well informed man – his views are the same as yours.

Among famous traitors of history one might mention the weather.