Falling out of love is chiefly a matter of forgetting how charming someone is.

Meaning of the quote

When you first start liking someone, you think they are amazing and special. But over time, you might start to forget all the things that made them so wonderful. That's why falling out of love is mostly about forgetting how truly captivating and delightful that person is to you. It's not that they changed, it's that you stopped noticing the things that made them so charming in the first place.

About Iris Murdoch

Iris Murdoch was an acclaimed Irish and British novelist and philosopher known for her insightful works on morality, relationships, and the human psyche. She received numerous prestigious awards, including the Booker Prize, and was made a Dame by Queen Elizabeth II for her contributions to literature.

More about the author

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Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

All art is a struggle to be, in a particular sort of way, virtuous.

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Iris Murdoch

Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.

Iris Murdoch

Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

One doesn’t have to get anywhere in a marriage. It’s not a public conveyance.

Iris Murdoch

Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

Moralistic is not moral. And as for truth – well, it’s like brown – it’s not in the spectrum. Truth is so generic.

Iris Murdoch

Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

We can only learn to love by loving.

Iris Murdoch

Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you’re important and nice, but you take second place all the same.

Iris Murdoch

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There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.

Iris Murdoch

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I see myself as Rhoda, not Mary Tyler Moore.

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Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

The notion that one will not survive a particular catastrophe is, in general terms, a comfort since it is equivalent to abolishing the catastrophe.

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Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

Being good is just a matter of temperament in the end.

Iris Murdoch

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Iris Murdoch

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The cry of equality pulls everyone down.

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Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

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Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)

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Iris Murdoch

Irish-born British writer and philosopher (1919-1999)