I don’t have anything to fix! I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I don’t eat carbs. My life is just great now. Normal. Vanilla.

I just love doing sitcoms. I’d be in them till I was gray if they’d have me.

I’m in a little bit of a different situation, because working in the business that I do and living in the city that I live in, I haven’t had a problem with people who are gay. Since I was 10 I’ve been working alongside them, and some of my best friends are gay.

Obviously, I did a couple of things right on the old casting couch.

By definition, gay is smart. I see plenty of macho heterosexual idiots, but nine times out of 10 you can have a great conversation if you find a gay guy.

I have a tendency to evolve into William Shatner, with my big fat face.

I don’t have anything to fix! I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I don’t eat carbs. My life is just great now. Normal. Vanilla.

Tony Hale is a devout Christian and is a complete retard when it comes to swearing. The script called for him to swear for about 30 seconds and he just couldn’t do it.

People have often asked if I’m gay because I don’t go out of my way to spit and scratch and give people attitude.

If people are going to complain about stereotyping, it’s as likely to be Italian-Americans as gay people.

I was just a lot smarter about not getting caught. I mean, I never stuck anything in my arm, but I certainly enjoyed my youth.

A straight factor is important in any comedy, because you need something to tee it up and also to ground it.

Will Arnett is one of the funniest guys I know. He has seen it all and done it all and come out the other end pretty savvy and pretty strong.