People who’ve had very unhappy childhoods are pretty good at inventing themselves. If nobody invents you for yourself, nothing is left but to invent yourself for others.

Meaning of the quote

Some people who had difficult childhoods are really good at creating a new identity for themselves. If no one helps them figure out who they really are, they end up pretending to be someone else to make other people happy. This can be hard, but it's also a way for them to take control of their own lives.

About John le Carre

David John Moore Cornwell (19 October 1931 – 12 December 2020), better known by his pen name John le Carre, was a British author, best known for his espionage novels, many of which were successfully adapted for film or television. A “sophisticated, morally ambiguous writer”, he is considered one of the greatest novelists of the postwar era.

More about the author

More quotes from John le Carre

America has entered one of its periods of historic madness, but this is the worst I can remember.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

When you’re my age and you see a story, you better go for it pretty quickly. I’d just like to get a few more novels under my belt.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I’ve always had difficulties with female characters.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

We have learned in recent years to translate almost all of political life in terms of conspiracy. And the spy novel, as never before, really, has come into its own.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

A committee is an animal with four back legs.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

There are some subjects that can only be tackled in fiction.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I made a series of wrong decisions about moderately recent books, and I’ve sold the rights to studios for ridiculous amounts of money and the films have never been made. That’s the saddest thing of all, because they’re locked up and no one else can make them.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Until we have a better relationship between private performance and the public truth, as was demonstrated with Watergate, we as the public are absolutely right to remain suspicious, contemptuous even, of the secrecy and the misinformation which is the digest of our news.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

A spy, like a writer, lives outside the mainstream population. He steals his experience through bribes and reconstructs it.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

We lie to one another every day, in the sweetest way, often unconsciously. We dress ourselves and compose ourselves in order to present ourselves to one another.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I am still making order out of chaos by reinvention.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Ideologies have no heart of their own. They’re the whores and angels of our striving selves.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

The monsters of our childhood do not fade away, neither are they ever wholly monstrous. But neither, in my experience, do we ever reach a plane of detachment regarding our parents, however wise and old we may become. To pretend otherwise is to cheat.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Writing is like walking in a deserted street. Out of the dust in the street you make a mud pie.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I happen to write by hand. I don’t even type.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Every writer knows he is spurious; every fiction writer would rather be credible than authentic.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

The Cold War was over long before it was officially declared dead.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I think that where I’ve watched a movie go wrong, it’s usually because the dread committee has been interfering with it.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

The longing we have to communicate cleanly and directly with people is always obstructed by qualifications and often with concern about how our messages will be received.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Remember Graham Green’s dictum that childhood is the bank balance of the writer? I think that all writers feel alienated. Most of us go back to an alienated childhood in some way or another. I know that I do.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

In every war zone that I’ve been in, there has been a reality and then there has been the public perception of why the war was being fought. In every crisis, the issues have been far more complex than the public has been allowed to know.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

During the Cold War, we lived in coded times when it wasn’t easy and there were shades of grey and ambiguity.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

By the age of 9 or 10, I knew that I had to cut my own cloth and make my own way.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Thank heaven, though, one of the few mistakes I haven’t made is to talk about the unwritten book.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Fools, most linguists. Damn all to say in one language, so they learn another and say damn all in that.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

In the last 15 or 20 years, I’ve watched the British press simply go to hell. There seems to be no limit, no depths to which the tabloids won’t sink. I don’t know who these people are but they’re little pigs.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I think I’m in the same mood as ever, but in some ways more mature. I guess you could say that, at 65, when you’ve seen the world shape up as I have, there are only two things you can do: laugh or kill yourself.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

If there is one eternal truth of politics, it is that there are always a dozen good reasons for doing nothing.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Americans believe that if you know something, you should do something about it.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

People who’ve had very unhappy childhoods are pretty good at inventing themselves. If nobody invents you for yourself, nothing is left but to invent yourself for others.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I’m really a library man, or second-hand book man.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I don’t think that there are very many good writers who don’t live without a sense of tension. If they haven’t got one immediately available to them, then they usually manage to manufacture it in their private lives.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

You should have died when I killed you.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I don’t think it is given to any of us to be impertinent to great religions with impunity.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

If I had to put a name to it, I would wish that all my books were entertainments. I think the first thing you’ve got to do is grab the reader by the ear, and make him sit down and listen. Make him laugh, make him feel. We all want to be entertained at a very high level.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

For better or worse, I’ve been involved in the description of political conflict.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

I don’t know whether it’s age or maturity, but I certainly find myself committed more and more to the looser forms of Western democracy at any price.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

History keeps her secrets longer than most of us. But she has one secret that I will reveal to you tonight in the greatest confidence. Sometimes there are no winners at all. And sometimes nobody needs to lose.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)

Most people like to read about intrigue and spies. I hope to provide a metaphor for the average reader’s daily life. Most of us live in a slightly conspiratorial relationship with our employer and perhaps with our marriage.

John le Carre

British novelist and spy (1931-2020)