One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.

It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.

Personally, I like two types of men – domestic and foreign.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Too much of a good thing can be taxing.

I’d like to see Paris before I die. Philadelphia will do.

I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.

It’s not what I do, but the way I do it. It’s not what I say, but the way I say it.

Keep a diary, and someday it’ll keep you.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

I’ve been things and seen places.

It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don’t break any.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.

I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.

It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men.

Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they’re doing and saying in films right now just shouldn’t be allowed. There’s no dignity anymore and I think that’s very important.

One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.

Look your best – who said love is blind?

I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

To err is human, but it feels divine.

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.

Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

Any time you’ve got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.

I only have ‘yes’ men around me. Who needs ‘no’ men?

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

A man’s kiss is his signature.

A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

When I’m good I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.

Love isn’t an emotion or an instinct – it’s an art.

The score never interested me, only the game.

I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.

Personality is the most important thing to an actress’s success.

Love thy neighbor – and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.

Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.

He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I’m tired.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.

When I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad I’m better.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.

A hard man is good to find.

Sex is emotion in motion.

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.

I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

It takes two to get one in trouble.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

I see you’re a man with ideals. I better be going before you’ve still got them.

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.