I can’t get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said “No.”

The best contraceptive is the word no – repeated frequently.

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Sin recognized but that may keep us humble, But oh, it keeps us nasty.

I don’t visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won’t wait in the yard while I run in.

I can’t get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.