What I learned, a little too late, was that the ‘traditional’ Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.

I hate to lull the audience into letting them think that something is something. It’s always fun to defy expectations.

All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done.

Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.

You go through publicists because it’s easy for a publicist to say to another publicist, “No”.

I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit.

I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.

I’ve done lots of improv things but not a whole movie.

I think I’m funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

What I learned, a little too late, was that the ‘traditional’ Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.

One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife.

I pretend I’m one of the royal family when I’m in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me – it is a palace.

People do think I’m Jewish. But we’re Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue.

You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It’s very easy to get lulled.

All you’re trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room.

What’s great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It’s not about the gloss of your eyebrows.

I’ve chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about.

I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late ’80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He’s a very cool, hip guy. This film, let’s face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he’d find it funny.

No one is any one thing.

I’ve never done an improvised movie as a fictitious character. I think that’s the challenge.

I have a kind of objective luxury about my career.

Being the youngest of five, you’re adored, you’re fueled with confidence.

My mother was the concert master of the symphony. Absurdity and eccentricity were not criticized.