There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
About Ogden Nash
Frederic Ogden Nashwas an American poet well known for his light verse, of which he wrote more than 500 pieces. With his unconventional rhyming schemes, he was declared by The New York Times to be the country’s best-known producer of humorous poetry.
More quotes from Ogden Nash
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they really don’t want it.
American poet
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
American poet
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
American poet
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
American poet
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
American poet
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
American poet
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
American poet
Too clever is dumb.
American poet
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
American poet
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
American poet
One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.
American poet
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
American poet
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
American poet
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I’ll never see a tree at all.
American poet
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
American poet
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
American poet
Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
American poet
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
American poet
I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
American poet
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
American poet
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
American poet
Commitments the voters don’t know about can’t hurt you.
American poet
Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying then without money?
American poet
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
American poet
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
American poet
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
American poet
I claim there ain’t Another Saint As great as Valentine.
American poet
Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.
American poet
Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.
American poet
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
American poet
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
American poet
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
American poet
If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.
American poet
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
American poet
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
American poet
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
American poet
Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
American poet
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
American poet
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
American poet
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
American poet
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
American poet
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.
American poet