By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

They’ve got great parents; I’m just trying to be the fun uncle.

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it’s funny enough.

I don’t set out to offend or shock, but I also don’t do anything to avoid it.

Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.

It shows the truth – that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I’d quit school he’d pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.

By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

Well, I’m not afraid to say something if I think it’s funny, even if it’s harsh or racist.

That’s not to say that I don’t find anything offensive.

I really think everything is fair game.

I’m Jewish, but I’m totally not.