The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips… you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.

It’s like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline.

He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.

That’s the greatest comeback since Lazarus.

Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.

Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.

There hasn’t been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.

The players are under so much duress, it’s like duressic park out there!

Well as giraffes say, you don’t get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.

There’s only one word for that – magic darts!

He’s as cool as a prized marrow!

Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water-buffalo with a pea-shooter.

When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27.

The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips… you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.

That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!

He’s about as predictable as a Wasp on speed.