I don’t mourn the dead. I mourn the living.

What is the value of your existence?

There is only one dream I can guarantee… my death.

I don’t mourn the dead. I mourn the living.

I know all human beings will be successful. How do I know? They all die.

God doesn’t go to jail for the pound of weed you got caught going over the Laredo with – even though he apparently has the knowledge, power, and care to prevent it – you go to jail. God passes go and the courts collect two hundred dollars.

I’d rather be dead than dying.

Although we will both die, and life is utterly meaningless, my time is vastly more important than yours.

Death is the welcome cessation of idiocy.

Treat Death as it treats us: with utter indifference.

Thanksgiving is nothing but a toast to genocide.