In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out til too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

You can’t trample infidels when you’re a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It’s called living.

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.

Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting “All the Gods are bastards.”

Sooner or later we’re all someone’s dog.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

It’s not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren’t doing.

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it’s not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.