The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.

Meaning of the quote

When you try to hold onto things too tightly, you end up losing them. If you try to control everything and grasp at it with a firm grip, you'll end up with less than if you had just let things happen naturally. The lesson here is that by being more open and relaxed, you'll be able to enjoy and appreciate things much more.

About Thomas Merton

Thomas Merton was an American Trappist monk, writer, theologian, and social activist. He wrote over 50 books, including the bestselling autobiography ‘The Seven Storey Mountain,’ and was a pioneer in interfaith dialogue, exploring Eastern religions and building mutual respect with spiritual leaders from around the world.

More about the author

More quotes from Thomas Merton

A life is either all spiritual or not spiritual at all. No man can serve two masters. Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire.

Thomas Merton

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The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another.

Thomas Merton

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The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.

Thomas Merton

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The first step toward finding God, Who is Truth, is to discover the truth about myself: and if I have been in error, this first step to truth is the discovery of my error.

Thomas Merton

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In the last analysis, the individual person is responsible for living his own life and for “finding himself.” If he persists in shifting his responsibility to somebody else, he fails to find out the meaning of his own existence.

Thomas Merton

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The very contradictions in my life are in some ways signs of God’s mercy to me.

Thomas Merton

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We have what we seek, it is there all the time, and if we give it time, it will make itself known to us.

Thomas Merton

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A daydream is an evasion.

Thomas Merton

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Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone-we find it with another.

Thomas Merton

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Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it.

Thomas Merton

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To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.

Thomas Merton

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What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves? This is the most important of all voyages of discovery, and without it, all the rest are not only useless, but disastrous.

Thomas Merton

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Every moment and every event of every man’s life on earth plants something in his soul.

Thomas Merton

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October is a fine and dangerous season in America. a wonderful time to begin anything at all. You go to college, and every course in the catalogue looks wonderful.

Thomas Merton

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We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.

Thomas Merton

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Peace demands the most heroic labor and the most difficult sacrifice. It demands greater heroism than war. It demands greater fidelity to the truth and a much more perfect purity of conscience.

Thomas Merton

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We do not exist for ourselves.

Thomas Merton

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I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me.

Thomas Merton

priest and author

Just remaining quietly in the presence of God, listening to Him, being attentive to Him, requires a lot of courage and know-how.

Thomas Merton

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If you want to study the social and political history of modern nations, study hell.

Thomas Merton

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We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.

Thomas Merton

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Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.

Thomas Merton

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By reading the scriptures I am so renewed that all nature seems renewed around me and with me. The sky seems to be a pure, a cooler blue, the trees a deeper green. The whole world is charged with the glory of God and I feel fire and music under my feet.

Thomas Merton

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The least of the work of learning is done in the classroom.

Thomas Merton

priest and author

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

Thomas Merton

priest and author

Be good, keep your feet dry, your eyes open, your heart at peace and your soul in the joy of Christ.

Thomas Merton

priest and author

Love seeks one thing only: the good of the one loved. It leaves all the other secondary effects to take care of themselves. Love, therefore, is its own reward.

Thomas Merton

priest and author

We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have – for their usefulness.

Thomas Merton

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We stumble and fall constantly even when we are most enlightened. But when we are in true spiritual darkness, we do not even know that we have fallen.

Thomas Merton

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Advertising treats all products with the reverence and the seriousness due to sacraments.

Thomas Merton

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Death is someone you see very clearly with eyes in the center of your heart: eyes that see not by reacting to light, but by reacting to a kind of a chill from within the marrow of your own life.

Thomas Merton

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Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.

Thomas Merton

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Perhaps I am stronger than I think.

Thomas Merton

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The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.

Thomas Merton

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Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.

Thomas Merton

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Yet it is in this loneliness that the deepest activities begin. It is here that you discover act without motion, labor that is profound repose, vision in obscurity, and, beyond all desire, a fulfillment whose limits extend to infinity.

Thomas Merton

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Wheels of fire, cosmic, rich, full-bodied honest victories over desperation.

Thomas Merton

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When ambition ends, happiness begins.

Thomas Merton

priest and author