It’s hard to win when you always lose.

It’s hard to win when you always lose.

I’m so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.

Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, it’s just god when he’s drunk.

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

I’m just trying to make a buck like everyone else.

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies. His coke dealer brought him.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Their memory’s like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away And the things you can’t remember Tell the things you can’t forget that History puts a saint in every dream.