It is well known that Beauty does not look with a good grace on the timid advances of Humour.

Considering how foolishly people act and how pleasantly they prattle, perhaps it would be better for the world if they talked more and did less.

Impropriety is the soul of wit.

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.

The world in general doesn’t know what to make of originality; it is startled out of its comfortable habits of thought, and its first reaction is one of anger.

An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.

Things were easier for the old novelists who saw people all of a piece. Speaking generally, their heroes were good through and through, their villains wholly bad.

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth.

The world is quickly bored by the recital of misfortune, and willing avoids the sight of distress.

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom, and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money that it values more, it will lose that too.

My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.

It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive.

Perfection has one grave defect: it is apt to be dull.

Every production of an artist should be the expression of an adventure of his soul.

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything for myself that I could pay others to do for me.

You know what the critics are. If you tell the truth they only say you’re cynical and it does an author no good to get a reputation for cynicism.

It seems that the creative faculty and the critical faculty cannot exist together in their highest perfection.

The writer of prose can only step aside when the poet passes.

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

Perfection is a trifle dull. It is not the least of life’s ironies that this, which we all aim at, is better not quite achieved.

Sentimentality is the only sentiment that rubs you the wrong way.

Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five.

It is well known that Beauty does not look with a good grace on the timid advances of Humour.

What has influenced my life more than any other single thing has been my stammer. Had I not stammered I would probably… have gone to Cambridge as my brothers did, perhaps have become a don and every now and then published a dreary book about French literature.

Death doesn’t affect the living because it has not happened yet. Death doesn’t concern the dead because they have ceased to exist.

If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts.

The crown of literature is poetry.

If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?

We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby.

It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one’s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent.

Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one’s mind.

Anyone can tell the truth, but only very few of us can make epigrams.

When you choose your friends, don’t be short-changed by choosing personality over character.

What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one’s faculties, mental and physical, but the burden of one’s memories.

The essence of the beautiful is unity in variety.

Habits in writing as in life are only useful if they are broken as soon as they cease to be advantageous.

When I read a book I seem to read it with my eyes only, but now and then I come across a passage, perhaps only a phrase, which has a meaning for me, and it becomes part of me.

In the country the darkness of night is friendly and familiar, but in a city, with its blaze of lights, it is unnatural, hostile and menacing. It is like a monstrous vulture that hovers, biding its time.

The writer is more concerned to know than to judge.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally.

The most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

I would sooner read a time-table or a catalogue than nothing at all. They are much more entertaining than half the novels that are written.

It’s no good trying to keep up old friendships. It’s painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it.

The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant and kind.

Money is the string with which a sardonic destiny directs the motions of its puppets.

Beauty is an ecstasy; it is as simple as hunger. There is really nothing to be said about it. It is like the perfume of a rose: you can smell it and that is all.

The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected.

Writing is the supreme solace.

I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.

It is salutary to train oneself to be no more affected by censure than by praise.

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

Have common sense and stick to the point.

It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.

No egoism is so insufferable as that of the Christian with regard to his soul.

There are two good things in life – freedom of thought and freedom of action.

Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.

Any nation that thinks more of its ease and comfort than its freedom will soon lose its freedom; and the ironical thing about it is that it will lose its ease and comfort too.

Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.

It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it.

I’ll give you my opinion of the human race in a nutshell… their heart’s in the right place, but their head is a thoroughly inefficient organ.

When you are young you take the kindness people show you as your right.

There is no explanation for evil. It must be looked upon as a necessary part of the order of the universe. To ignore it is childish, to bewail it senseless.

Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it’s a mistake to make a habit out of it.

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.

Tolerance is another word for indifference.

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.

Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

It is unsafe to take your reader for more of a fool than he is.

Men have an extraordinarily erroneous opinion of their position in nature; and the error is ineradicable.

Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother.

It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

The artist produces for the liberation of his soul. It is his nature to create as it is the nature of water to run down the hill.

We learn resignation not by our own suffering, but by the suffering of others.

The love that lasts longest is the love that is never returned.

We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.

It wasn’t until late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say “I don’t know.”

You can do anything in this world if you are prepared to take the consequences.

It’s very hard to be a gentleman and a writer.