A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

Usually, there’s nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.

I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.

I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up.

It wasn’t until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I’m just behind the jokes.

What drives the creative person is that we see it all.

Don’t bother me while I’m eating, or when I’m coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I’ll hear it, but the men will keep talking.

I think it’s because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that’s real.

It’s hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you’re funny you will get over all of that.

If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I’m here today because I hated everything else.

Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.

I’m really funny now.

And then also I think it’s harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Men don’t hear women.

In ’87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.

I love Costas. He’s knows too much, but he’s a good guy.

I’m here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.

I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

If you’re passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I’m starting to get people – not a large group, but quite a few people – who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Back then, I was doing more of my impression of what a comic is supposed to do.

It’s easier to rip somebody to shreds while you’re making them laugh.

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.