Pressed caviar has the consistency of chilled tar.

Scrooge pushed past Mary number 1 and Joseph number 2 in the wings without so much as an “excuse me”. Typical.

Kristin Brown looks as though she could have been mailed first-class to New York for about a dollar and a half.

Drawn by warm nostalgic feelings for the place and by two sweet little words: “Open Bar.”

Pressed caviar has the consistency of chilled tar.

Grown men have been seen fleeing after reading the menu posted outside.