A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

Failure has gone to his head.

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

You sparkle with larceny.

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.

The first hundred years are the hardest.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research.

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll meet them on your way down.

I’d rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

God help those who do not help themselves.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

I’ve spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, ‘Have you read – .’

The most efficient water power in the world – women’s tears.

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.

I’ve had ample contact with lawyers, and I’m convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has his suspicions.

The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you’re in.

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Art is science made clear.