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Home
Authors
Bob Hope
American
Comedian
About the author
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Tears
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Money
I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Play
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Love
#Money
#Washington
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Old
You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Time
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Play
#Name
You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Parents
#Actor
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Past
#Happiness
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Dogs
#Trees
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#News
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Israel
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Dance
#Brothers
#Waiting
They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Hollywood
#England
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#People
#Kisses
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Age
#Middle age
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Kids
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Work
#Fun
#Play
#Golf
#Recreation
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Heart
#Trouble
#Charity
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Country
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Help
#Direction
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Crime
#Wrong
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Time
#Right
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Time
#Old
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Hate
#Benefits
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Heart
#Sense
#Humor
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Love
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#Will
#Money
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
Bob Hope,
American
Comedian
#People
#Liberty