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Home
Authors
Colin Mochrie
Scottish
Actor
About the author
I have many favorite artists... Van Gogh as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Artists
#Favorite
I do enjoy working with Ryan although he owes me money.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Money
I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Work
#Traveling
I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Right
#Nothing
#Challenge
#Trying
And if that isn't the truth, it would be a lie.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Truth
#Lie
I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Project
Hey, Ryan, if Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Will
#Change
#Name
Give me liberty or give me a bran muffin!
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Liberty
As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Day
#Television
Give me liberty or a bran muffin!
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Liberty
Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#People
#Taste
There are so many things I'd like to change in the industry. Everything from the reliance of style over substance to their reluctance to hire me for big budget blockbusters, but the thing I would love most would be if they understood people don't have to be Hollywood beautiful to be sexy or interesting.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Love
#People
#Style
#Hollywood
#Change
I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#School
When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Life
#Work
#World
#Control
#Trust
#Consequences
Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Act
#Fish
#Dying
#Rivers
We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Nature
We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Want
#People
#Funny
The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Barbra Streisand, Bruce Springsteen, these are just some of the people who threatened to sue if we used their songs.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Songs
#People
To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Work
#Writer
#Talent
#Hard work
#Discipline
My god! It's a hamster with explosives taped around it's waist!
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Thought
#Living
#Skill
The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#People
#Revenge
Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Mother
Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Today
#State
#Famous
#Prostitution
Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Life
#People
Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#People
#Will
#Americans
My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Ability
#Accomplishment
We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.
Colin Mochrie,
Scottish
Actor
#Trying
#Deep