The Good Quote
Open menu
Quotes
Authors
Topics
More
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
Home
Authors
Eddie Izzard
British
Comedian
About the author
If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
#Ski
They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
#Years
#President
#American
#Government
#Americans
#Native Americans
MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
#Police
I'm a one-man idiot.
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
#Coffee
#Women
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
#History
#Europe
Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian
#People
#Pretty
#Singing
#Music
Never put a sock in a toaster.
Eddie Izzard,
British
Comedian