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Home
Authors
Elayne Boosler
American
Comedian
About the author
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Mothers
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Man
#Woman
#Walking
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Money
#Television
#Giving
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Thinking
#Country
#Men
#Women
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#People
#Wrong
To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Comedy
#Key
#Silence
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Party
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Woman
#Body
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Years
#Men
#Wilderness
When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler,
American
Comedian
#Morals
#Sun