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Home
Authors
Jimmy Kimmel
American
Celebrity
About the author
There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.
Jimmy Kimmel,
American
Celebrity
#Trying
#Reality
#Mystery
#Wives
#Temple
#Veterans
I only get unusual ailments.
Jimmy Kimmel,
American
Celebrity
I have like fifteen televisions in my house.
Jimmy Kimmel,
American
Celebrity
Almost every week, someone's mad at me.
Jimmy Kimmel,
American
Celebrity
It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.
Jimmy Kimmel,
American
Celebrity
#Want
#Now
#Popular
#Pretty
#School
#states
#United
#Funny
I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.
Jimmy Kimmel,
American
Celebrity
That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
Jimmy Kimmel,
American
Celebrity
#Authority
#Boss
#Funny
I'm a terrible golfer.
Jimmy Kimmel,
American
Celebrity