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Home
Authors
Lenny Bruce
American
Comedian
About the author
A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#People
#Christ
Communism is like one big phone company.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Company
#Communism
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#God
#People
#Day
#Church
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Beach
When you're eight years old nothing is your business.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Nothing
#Years
#Old
#Business
There are never enough I Love You's.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Love
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Daughter
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Art
#Man
#Comedy
#Laughter
The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#People
#Liberals
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Time
#Public
#Will
#Tragedy
#Satire
In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Justice
If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#First
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Children
#Years
#School
I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#God
#Kissing
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#School
I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#Nothing
#Hate
The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is.
Lenny Bruce,
American
Comedian
#People
#Trying