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Home
Authors
Lewis Black
American
Comedian
About the author
If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
#Want
#People
#World
#Islands
All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
#People
#Father
#Sons
#Space
#Company
If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
#Now
#Will
#Eating
#Ego
#Health
It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
#Men
Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
#Nothing
#Ideas
#Democrats
#Republicans
And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
#Eye
#Nothing
#Fault
#Economics
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.
Lewis Black,
American
Comedian
#Years
#Evolution
#Plants
#Voting